Bonjour mes beaux petit fours! <3
Welcome to the third and final act of My Magical Paris Adventure (and therefore also the last update of the entire Europe trip…can you believe how long it's been since we started in Skegness with Kevin???)
This final update is a 3 for 1 special featuring Parc Astérix, Disney Studios, and Parc Disneyland, plus a bonus visit to Paris proper. :}
"Bonjour and welcome to my park!" says Astérix. |
Parc Astérix is France's largest regional theme park. It opened in 1989 – just as construction for Disneyland Paris was getting under way. |
Still, the park has put its own spin on several classics. Here we have the centerpiece of their Rome-themed area, situated at the end of the park's entry midway (which lacks a specific theme). |
Obélix, Astérix's closest friend, uses his particularly incredible strength to carry entire families upon the park's carousel. |
Park Asterix's Ancient Greece-themed area is where we find the day's first credit: Le Vol d'Icare (Flight of Icarus). |
Le Vol d'Icare is one of two Zierer "Hornet" coasters ever manufactured, the other being the sole coaster of Flambards Village Theme Park in Great Britain. |
The boys are all ready for their first Parc Astérix coaster! |
But first we have to find it! |
The maze outside led us to some kind of museum/mausoleum place. |
Here we find some interesting invention concepts. They look to have been here for quite some time. |
It's a common misconception that kites were invented 2500 years ago in China. Turns out they were actually invented by fictional comic book characters during the rule of Julius Caesar. |
What have we here… STOLEN works from Egypt? Who would do such a thing!? |
The Hornet model is basically a large Tivoli-style layout (a la Jaguar at Knott's Berry Farm or Green Scream at Adventure Island) designed to operate several sets of inline cars. |
Like Zierer's Flitzers, block sections allow for safe multi-train operation. Le Vol d'Icare is pretty much what would happen if a Flitzer and a Tivoli had a baby. |
The little winged vehicles scuttle around and are cute. |
Woosh! |
The ride is…like… 50% brakes, but it's just so cute and pleasant that it doesn't matter. |
XTREME VOL D'ICARE POV FRENCHNESS! |
What a lovely view from Athens. :} |
As always, Thrillography wants to remind everyone at home to always follow theme park policies and to always practice safe snaps while filming on rides! |
And, yes, the entire squad fit into a single train without a seat to spare! (I had squished Mat quite resolutely by the end of our ride) |
Here we see the evil sun that has caused our wings of wax to melt, sending us hurtling toward the ground below. |
Le Vol d'Icare is not without the trademark Zierer Tivoli rumbling, but with several two-car trains running at once, the rumble is transformed into a chorus of high-pitched rumbles. |
We have survived the Flight of Icarus! We fared a lot better than the man himself, whose onlookers never did forget bearing witness to that gnarly plunge into the ocean. |
MONKEY PUZZLE PHOTO BOMB!! |
Gotta get that perfect shot! |
Next to Icarus is one of Parc Astérix's many water-based rides, La Rivière de Elis. |
And across the pond is this horrible monstrosity. |
Blood-curdling screams echo far and wide. |
Ok, the screams are actually from people waiting in this agonizing line for Tonnerre De Zeus. We're going to get a FastPass-type-thing from customer service and come back after lunch. |
But first: a ride that isn't even on the FastPass roster because it has such a bad reputation! |
It's Parc Astérix's original roller coaster, Gouduri(iiii)x! (featuring possibly the coolest entry marquee ever) |
Gourdurix holds the dubious designation of "World's Worst Steel Coaster," having come in last (or second to last) in almost every Mitch Hawker Steel Coaster Poll. |
The poll hasn't been conducted since 2013, but I'm sure Goudurix would still represent. |
Goudurix's butterfly is a bit more dramatic than Ninja's, using sharper transitions that create loops that are almost 90º directional changes. |
The sound that comes from the train is like a cross between a bowling ball rolling down an alley and a coop of chickens being flattened by a steamroller. |
Despite this the line was still around half an hour. Maybe it's not so bad?? |
It's certainly fun to take pictures of. |
Look at this thing. LOOK AT IT. |
Ninja's butterfly does not look this messed up. Like, I'm kind of amazed. |
It's like the designer had a seizure. |
I can't imagine how this thing must've tracked before all of the years of reprofiling. |
Look at the spine transition in the top right! |
The corkscrews are so dirty! How does so much grease collect there? |
Yes, we're still in line. The line's moving pretty quickly, though. Operations here are great! |
Surprise, surprise! I really like the ride. In fact, we all did! We might just be back for another ride! |
Methinks it is definitely lunch time now! |
Here's a marquee shot of Le Vol d'Icare that I failed to get the first time around (again, due to my shortcomings as a photographer and as a person in general). |
THE MONKEY PUZZLE STRIKES AGAIN! |
Hey, look! Ziplining is happening! |
Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched by a flamboyant 25-year-old with a bad rap and 7 inversions? Because this girl totally is. |
WE HAVE RETURNED, ZEUS! |
Across the way, Goudurix is eagerly awaiting the return of us, his only fans. |
"Please come back to me! I have Nutella!" |
From the colorful Parthenon station, the Thunder of Zeus takes guests on a 4000ft jaunt of sharp drops, fan turns, crazy-ass helix action, and other textbook CCI hallmarks. |
Once an internationally renowned Top 10 wooden coaster, Tonnerre De Zeus fell in opinion as the ride steadily suffered from the maintanence shortcomings that tend to come with CCI coasters. |
Ooooooh! New hotness! (Zamperla Disk'O). |
These ruins seem to have sprung a leak! |
"COME BACK TO ME I NEED YOU!" |
Transdemonium is a surprisingly fabulous dark ride! So far the day's major attractions have really delivered! |
This area of the park is called "Travel Through Time." It depicts various European themes between 1300-1900. |
There aren't a ton of rides, but there's lots of awesome architectural things to see! |
Like the vital indoor areas of the French Disney parks, Travel Through Time features incredible indoor midways that provide shelter in the event of spotty French weather. :} |
The more we explored Parc Astérix, the prettier the park got. We were quite impressed! |
I REQUIRE LIQUID SUSTENANCE FROM THE BELLY OF AN ACTIVE VOLCANO! |
Here's a crummy picture of indoor midway #2 |
At the other end of Travel Through Time is a circus! |
L'oxygenarium was one of the first White Water West wet/dry family slides, like the ones found at Six Flags New England and Six Flags America. We didn't ride because the line was huge! |
Besides, there are more important matters at hand. |
Behold: one of the latest and greatest inverted coaster triumphs! |
It's OzIris! |
The greatest invert of the nineties is Nemesis. The greatest invert of the '00s is Black Mamba. The greatest invert of the current decade so far is this ride right here. |
As concerns arose that the B&M invert had perhaps run its course, Parc Astérix came out of left field and slayed the masses with one of the best inverted coasters the world has ever seen. |
Immersive theme elements and a totally unorthodox layout proved to the world that a B&M invert could still surprise even the most seasoned coaster enthusiasts! |
For the first time ever, the ubiquitous "flat spin" corkscrew element was MIA on a B&M invert, instead being graced with, not one, but two augmented heart line rolls. |
The first "pre-drop"-less first drop on a B&M invert debuted on OzIris, as well as the first inverted dive loop. Both elements would later find their way onto the sensational Banshee at Kings Island. |
The ride and theme together present almost an alternate-reality Busch Gardens Montu experience, except the Egyptian theme here is executed in the tongue-in-cheek stye of the Astérix comics. |
For every inversion OzIris has, it has an equally-strong non-inverting element in between (two overbanks, underground tunnel, underwater tunnel, elevated helix, dirt-turn helix.) |
With the success of Banshee stateside, maybe we'll still see a few more B&M inverts this decade? |
But wait! There's more! |
Time for the last Zierer Tivoli of the trip! |
S.O.S. Numérobis would like to remind everyone to keep their hands inside the "vehicule." |
This may be the best picture I have ever taken. |
What time is it?? It's log flume time! |
The region that Astérix and his friends call home is also home to Menhir Express. That's right! We've finally made it to Gaul! |
Menhir Express opened in 1995. I discovered that "menhirs" are the rough, obelisk-like stone monoliths. Astérix's friend Obélix sculpts and delivers for a living (hence his name). |
I forgot to mention that OzIris features an Egyptian-style miniature replica of the Eiffel Tower. I love this park. |
Menhir Express is as top-notch as Parc Astérix's coaster collection would suggest. And you can't beat these views! |
"GET THE SHOT! GET THE SHOT!" |
Menhir Express is a surprisingly long flume with a superb layout and several great elements. I won't spoil anything for you flume fans out there. ;} |
Hopkins has built some great flumes, but I think this is my new favorite of theirs! |
We got fairly wet, but it's nothing that a sunny and 80º French day couldn't handle! |
A cross promotion with Magnum has lead to these amazing themed ice lolly statues. |
As amazing as Menhir Express is, who's ready for the true pride and joy of Gaul?? |
It's "La Trace du Hourra (The Trail of Hurray)!" The biggest, baddest, and (unfortuantely) final Mack Bobsled. |
Despite incredibly swift 3-train operation, La Trace Du Hourra's wait was over an hour long. Once again, I'm shocked that the FastPass-type-things aren't more popular; we got to walk right on! |
The view from Trace du Hourra is fabulous. It's actually the tallest ride here! |
Le Trace even overshadows the mighty OzIris! |
Look at that helix! Pretty steep stuff for a bobsled! |
Hourraaaaaaa! |
Trace's 3-train operation is achieved by the ride's pair of midcourse brake sections (well, 1/3rd course and 2/3 course) and a lift hill that's long enough to accommodate two trains. |
I'm a huge fan of the brown track on this ride. The wheel tracks look a lot less glaring than on the white bobsleds. |
I'm also a huge fan of the look of the trains. I'm not sure what they're supposed to be, but they look awesome! |
Everything after the 2nd brake run is super close to the ground. It wraps around some cool stoneworks as well as some of the queue. |
La Trace du Hourra was a huge hit with the squad, obviously. What's not to love?? |
The ride concludes with sheep in the infield. :} |
But wait!! There's more! |
What time is it?? It's shoot-the-chute time! |
And this is no ordinary shoot-the-chute! It's a SUPER-RARE CUSTOM TERRAIN SHOOT-THE-CHUTE! |
"Grand Splatch" opened with Parc Astérix, serving as its original wet ride. |
It's a bit like the Jurassic Park River Adventure, except we have jumping fountains instead of velociraptors. |
Unlike Tanganyika Splash, however, Grand Splatch was not retrofitted from a boat cruise-themed-ride (a concept that also lead to a few Intamin rapids rides), but it did open the same year. |
Oh! We seem to be dropping! Geronimo!!! |
Well, that completes the circuit! |
We return to the Roman Empire now to defy Caesar! |
Like La Vol d'Icare, Le Défi de César has lots of whimsical inventions scattered about the queue. |
Sorta like a garden of Da Vinci's rejects. |
After a few very clever preliminary pre-shows, we were escorted into some kind of bathhouse. |
The babbling fountains throughout the bathhouse are both beautiful and calming. |
In the center is a large whirlpool bath. It looks so inviting. :} |
Suddenly the fountains begin to rise and rain over the walkways! |
Projections on the fountains tell some kind of story about…something… It was French. x} |
Ooooh! Bubbles! |
Uh oh! Looks like we've angered the whirlpool. |
Water starts happening from all directions, narrowly missing spectators. |
Woo! LOTS of water! |
I really wouldn't know how to categorize this part of the attraction, but man is it cool! |
Next we were brought into some kind of…galley? |
We've got company! |
But WAIT! There's MORE!!! |
What time is it? It's rapids time! |
And the popularity of these rides is no joke! Even if it can't run all season, a great wet ride at Disneyland Paris would become the resort's star attraction during the summer months! |
While not as enrapturing as Menhir Express or Grand Splatch, "Romus & Rapidus" is still a credit to the park's collection. And it has a giant clam for a station! |
On our third pass through Greece, we noticed a Zierer Flying Carpet on a rooftop! |
A Gerstlauer Polyp also calls Parc Asterix's Greece home. :} |
With the park pretty much taken care of, our top re-ride priority was Tonnerre De Zeus! |
"BACK FOR MORE, I SEE!!" *laughs in Greek* |
You know what's funny? (besides the flowery undies) The only other coaster in the world with the word "Zeus" in its name is Tonnerre De Zeus's fellow 1997 CCI woodie at Mt. Olympus. :} |
Zeus's final helix encircles part of the queue, which itself encircles a…….pumpkin plant…? |
Some very interesting a lovely woodwork went into this queue. :} |
The volume of airtime on this ride is unreal. Megaphobia at Oakwood was a real treat, but Zeus blows it out of the water! |
New favorite CCI coaster, no contest. |
Methinks it's time to return to the land of Vikings! Here we come, Goudurix! |
"MY AMERICAN FRIENDS! YOU HAVE COME BACK FOR MEEEE!" |
The butterfly may be a freak of nature, but I cannot deny its temptations. |
And, y'know, the other butterfly-ish thing is cool too. Not as unique, but still fun. :} |
For our last ride of the day, we once again traveled through time... |
…all the way back to Ancient Egypt! |
Our encore ride on OzIris sealed the deal. Nemesis, Black Mamba, and OzIris are now the B&M Invert Holy Trinity. |
Added bonus: OzIris has a single-rider line! The FastPass-Type-Thing is a single use punch card system (a la Hersheypark), which is why we had to wait in line for Tonnerre De Zeus. |
We weren't able to get a front-seat ride on OzIris, but two middle-train rides still outperformed almost every other inverted roller coaster we've ridden. |
I'm not sure this chick on the right was feeling it. lol |
Now that I've ridden this, it's definitely time to go ride Montu and see how it compares. :} |
If you're on the edges and stick your arm out, OzIris becomes a water ride. Perfectly suitable for a park that loves wet rides so well. :} |
Well that pretty much wraps up our Parc Astérix adventure! What a fantastic theme park! Just top-notch all around! |
I'm sure you can guess what comes next. |
Yep. |
Here's a thing. |
Me with the thing. |
The thing is tall. |
I hope you're enjoying these captions. I worked hard on them. |
Does anyone else wanna go to Kings Island when we get home? |
Here's another thing. |
It's not as tall as the other thing, but it's still quite lovely. :} |
This view is quite flattering to the arch's figure. |
Truth be told, it's bigger in person than it looks in pictures! |
Let's take a closer look, shall we? |
Everyone took turns touching it. |
We all found great satisfaction in standing beneath its captivating ceilings and walls. |
*o* |
Standing at the exact center. :} |
Everyone needs that center ceiling shot! |
Pointy things. :} |
The air is polluted, but it makes for nice sunset shots. |
And it pales in comparison to the pollution in China. |
Kitschy bric-a-brac. :} |
Goodnight Paris. :} |
Missing Hong Kong Disney now. <3 (Sadly this is not foreshadowing of a return to the park. For now.) |
You know what we're here for! Morning at Disneyland Paris means EVERYONE RUN TO CRUSH'S COASTER. |
Good morning, signature Walt Disney Studios shot. |
Definitely no tram tour for us today. |
Hi Jeff! |
Hi Ron! Hi Alec! |
Hi Michael! Hi Steve! |
Everyone's enjoying today's drift on the EAC. Who's excited about Finding Dory this spring? :} |
Weeeeeeeee! :D |
I can't get over how cute this ride is. Here's to Cars 3 hopefully turning the franchise around so that it doesn't read like a shameless merchandising cash cow. |
And here's to Monsters Inc. for producing a follow-up film that doesn't turn the franchise into a shameless merchandising cash cow to begin with. |
And here's to the The Incredibles II, which Disney is making us wait until 2019 for. Bastards. |
And here's to Toy Story for being an utterly flawless franchise thus far. And to Ratatouille for its perfect completeness after a single film. |
We also did the Armageddon Effects Special because it probably isn't going to be around for too much longer. |
It's a neat not-quite-a-ride-but-not-quite-a-show experience that's guaranteed to captivate pyromaniacs and frighten small children. |
Bye-bye Walt Disney Studios! I predict big and exciting changes in your future! |
Approaching Parc Disneyland one last time. |
Let's take the Arcade shortcut to our next destination! |
Discoveryland! |
I'm in desperate need of an encore Autopia ride, and this time I brought company. :} |
"Please do not tampon the other drivers." |
Michael gets the pink hotrod today. :} |
And Ron is my Chauffeur! Remember boys and girls, ( + gender non-conformers), do not talk on your camera and drive. |
Road trip triple selfie! |
With Ron behind the wheel, I can focus on what's really important: pictures. :} |
Remember, Michael! No driving at speeds in excess of 220 km/h! |
Taking our orange Astrocoupe through the forest! |
What a lovely place Discoveryland is. :} |
Ron is experiencing French road rage, which is like regular road rage only croissants are involved (not pictured). |
#AutopiaSquad |
Michael's enthusiasm is infectious. |
Encore Star Tours ride! |
How's everyone liking Star Wars Episode VII? I haven't seen it yet. :} |
I bet we can expect BB-8 to make an appearance when Star Tours re-launches next summer! |
*anticipatory beeping noises* |
The pre-flight video for the original Star Tours is one of my all-time favorite pieces of Disneyania. |
The film harkens back to a simpler time; a time when the future still included outrageous 80s hair, and a ride on a new-fangled motion simulator attraction required detailed instructions. |
"We know you have a choice when flying, and we thank you for choosing Star Tours. Also, we apologize in advance." |
"To infinity…….AND BEYOND!" "...wait, crap! wrong movie…" |
"Neigh the horse be with you." |
Yeah, that. |
"Space: the final frontier!" "Ok I'm sorry I'll stop." |
You know the gift shop's been around for a while when the exit from the associated attraction doesn't lead directly into it. |
Anyone want a custom light saber? :} |
Or maybe a craft droid? :} |
Here's something we haven't done yet! The Disneyland Express! |
And it actually had a bit of a line. |
Here's our ride! |
I see a relic from a bygone era. Do you see it? |
The Discoveryland Station of the Disneyland Railroad is situated directly over Star Tours. :} |
"All aboard! Let's go!" |
"Now here's something you don't see every day: the backside of Space Mountain!" |
I say that because Paris's Space Mountain is the only one that is completely encircled by midway. You can't really see the backsides of the other ones unless you're a Cast Member. :} |
Since Iron Man construction forced me to miss out on the Hong Kong Disneyland Railroad, this is probably my first ride on any Disney Railroad in…ten years…? |
Hello Main Street Station. :} |
"And here's where I'd put my Splash Mountain…IF I HAD ONE." |
I'm sure some day we'll see some development out here. |
Here's Indiana Jones' camp! Speaking of development, there's lots of room to work with in Adventureland too. Plenty of room for a major attraction in between Indy and Pirates. |
So many possibilities… :} |
I see two castles. :} |
Hello Fantasyland! |
This is as close as we got to riding it's a small world. lol |
Next door is the entrance to a very closed Buzz Lightyear's Pizza Planet. |
In fact, Buzz Lightyear's Pizza Planet is so closed that they have a map outside showing guests where to find restaurants in the park that are actually open. |
Once we come around past Space Mountain's exit, we re-join the hustle and bustle of the rest of Discoveryland. :} |
How many attractions do you see? :} |
"I mean…I guess we can ride the coolest Disney coaster ever while we're here." |
"rollercoaster-type flight" Hey! I remember this announcer chick from Space Mountain Hong Kong! |
Oops! We seem to have walked in on the parade. :} |
Here comes Mickey and friends! |
"Hello! Welcome to my castle!" |
Three days after arriving at the resort, we ran into these guys causing trouble around Adventure Isle. |
And now back to Fantasyland. :} |
Just to the right of the castle is a stage upon which stage-type-things occur. |
Twilight is the most magical time of day at the most magical place on Earth. :} |
One last ride on Big Thunder Mountain! |
And Phantom Manor. :} |
And suddenly: nighttime! |
Who's ready for a front-and-center viewing of Disney Dreams? |
The view we had last night was great for the fireworks, but tonight we can focus more closely on the castle projections. |
As you can see, the prelude to the show is very blue. :} |
It's starting! :D |
The show opens with dialogue between Peter and Wendy. Peter speaks English and Wendy speaks French. Fortunately Peter's English dialogue adequately explained the circumstances of the show. |
All of which I forget even after seeing the show twice. Because exhaustion. |
"Be our guest! Be our guest! Put our service to the test!" |
Lights and water and lights and water and lights and water. |
Ah! We are in Paris to meet our little chef friend! |
Hello Remy! Congrats on your killer restaurant at Disney Studios! |
Wacky rainbow castle? Hmm... |
It's Genie! He's turned the castle into a big blue vegas show! |
I think Genie's sequence is my favorite of the show. |
There is a LOT that goes on with the castle while it's under his control. |
Some of the projections are simply movie shots pasted on the castle, but sequences like Genie's really transform the castle and fool the eyes! |
Nothing says "live show" like a sea of cell phones. |
Hey! Peter Pan's shadow is riding Magic Carpet! |
Hmm…what comes next? |
Ah yes! Back to France for the Hunchback of Notre Dame. |
Sing it out, girl. |
Jungle? |
Africa?? |
Giraffes??? |
Ah, Simba. You're a conceited little rotter, aren't you. |
Oh well. At least you didn't kill 5 people like Prince Hamlet did. |
The water effect on the castle looks way cooler in person. A still shot of it really doesn't do it justice. |
ELSA! *_____________* |
LET IT GOOOOOOOOO!!! LET IT GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! CAN'T HOLD ME BACK ANYMOOOOOOORE!!!!! |
…the cold never bothered me anyway! *door slam* |
You know if Elsa's around, Rapunzel isn't far behind. |
How terrible it would be if someone were to ruin this beautiful moment. |
Ack! It's the Shadow Man! |
The Shadow Man and Peter Pan's Shadow are probably bad influences on each other. |
All of the Disney Villains are being summoned! |
Hey look! It's Divine! <3 |
*INTENSE CALAMITY ENSUES* |
Peter Pan and Tinkerbell defeat the villains with the help of everyone in the audience! |
The 2nd Star is shining once more! |
Which means it's almost time to conclude our Disneyland Paris time. |
Ooooooooh! Lots of colors to bring in the big finish! :} |
This has been a fantastic journey. Thank you to everyone who joined me in Ireland, UK, and France! You're what makes these trip reports really special! |
And thank you all for reading! I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it for you. |
Until next time. :} |
Thanks for all the memories. Love re-living all of these moments.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being a part of it. ;}
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