TIME WARP: Hard Rock Park 2008 Trip Report!

Hello, all. :} 

I think it's time for a story. 

* * *

A funny thing happened in 2008; I got invited to my first ever family reunion.

In June of that year, my sister got married. At the wedding I got to know my sister's in-laws and the rest of that side of the family. The groom's family caught on quick as to how to win me over (We heard you like roller coasters! We live 5 minutes from Busch Gardens. Come visit soon). Conversations such lead to me snagging an invitation to the family's annual family gathering in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. 

I'd never been to Myrtle Beach. I'd never been to Carolina. I'd never seen our nation's majestic East Coast. All of these things appealed to me (on top of relaxing bonding time with my brother-in-law's family), but nothing appealed to me more than the thought of perhaps squeezing in a visit to this oddball new theme park with a rock 'n' roll theme that I'd been studying the progress of. 

After a few days of miniature golf, sleeping in, and reading novels in the inland sands of the Atlantic Ocean, my sister, brother-in-law, and I set off for Hard Rock Park. We drove to the park's general area, but were soon confused as to the park's whereabouts. Where is this place?! We tooled around on the outskirts of some of MB's touristy-shoppy areas until we eventually caught a glimpse of some crystal B&M track poking at the sky. 

Hard Rock Park's immediate area showed few signs of life, but signs of life they indeed were. Flanked by an abandoned strip mall, a Medieval Times restaurant, and a colossal Christian house of worship, Hard Rock Park was actually the liveliest of the bunch on that particular Saturday. This, however, wasn't saying much. The first thing we noticed after parking was that there was virtually nobody in the car park. Something seemed amiss.

Can't argue with this kind of parking on a Saturday in August. 

Is something happening right now that we don't know about? Did someone die? Where is everyone?? Something is clearly up.

The moose out front shoulda told ya. We're closed. 

Nope. The park and everything inside was open. 

And, for what we soon figured out was a poorly attended park in general, this place had style.

In fact, we were blown away. The guitar-shaped midway. The Elvis sistine chapel. The bag checkers that used drum sticks to inspect your belongings. This place was nice. 

And they have THIS. 

Rock n' Roll Heaven, the first themed land on your left, seemed to have an identity split somewhere between Bob Marley's backyard and Robert Plant's cerebral cortex. 

There was something magical about this place.

We ran our fingers under the streaming frets of the water guitar.

It played "Stairway To Heaven".

Led Zeppelin: The Ride's greatest strength was its seamless choreography to the 1969 smash-hit "Whole Lotta Love". This ride was an utter triumph. 

Musical synergy aside, what you're looking at is a really solid B&M looper in its own right.

That twinge of Islands of Adventure whiplash you're feeling is normal. A couple of Hard Rock Park's creative leaders had a lot of history with Universal Orlando. 

Something about Led Zeppelin: The Ride had me all shaken up! 

Eventually I calmed down & could hold my camera steady again. 

Let's cross the pond, shall we? 

There was a great sense of humor about this place. You just don't see that in a lot of parks. 

The idiosyncratic Maximum RPM started having some technical problems once we'd arrived. 

British Invasion, the largest of Hard Rock Park's areas, was full of charming nods to mother England. 

Nicely bridging the British Invasion area with the Lost in the 70's area was the extraordinary Moody Blues' Nights In White Satin: The Trip.  

The Trip was everything that was right about Hard Rock Park in a nutshell: charm, humor, and brilliance rolled together and sharply executed.

Lost in the 70's, which was an indoor area located in what was once a shuttered shopping plaza, was home not only to the Moody Blues, but The Who and Arlo Guthrie.

Yes, we did eat at Alice's Restaurant.

And yes, I got exactly what I wanted.

:}

The Lost in the 70's tunnel transports you from England back to the United States. Hard Rock Park's Born in the USA area accurately represented (whether it likes it or not) North America's complete musical inferiority to the United Kingdom.*

*DISCLAIMER: The opinions and views expressed on Thrillography: Photos + Commentary are that of a nostalgic roller coaster enthusiast who is madly in love with Florence + The Machine, Pink Floyd, and Muse, and does not necessarily reflect the opinions or views of Hard Rock Park, the American Coaster Enthusiasts, Blogger, or the state of South Carolina. 

Though the least-remarkable of Hard Rock Park's areas, Born in the USA still teemed with charm. 

The wonderfully gay B-52's lived at the heart of Born in the USA with their appropriately-flamboyant snack stand. :}

One thing we DO have going for us is the Statue of Liberty. Sponsored by Zippo. 

Here's some more Universal Studios channeling:

Every October, Mel's Drive In adjusts its sign to become Mel's D i e In. In a similar vein, The Great Meals Diner would actually appear more famously as the "eat Me" Diner. 

Born in the USA was also home to the kiddie area because hey, they gotta put it somewhere. 

Slippery When Wet was the weakest of the park's coasters. It's water effects didn't seem to be cranked up enough, and we came off dry as a bone! Something the park was lacking was a true water ride. There was initially supposed to be some sort of rapids ride intended for Rock n' Roll Heaven, but it was cut at the last minute.

Overall, I think the only atmospheric touches that the park was lacking at the time was some adequate shade. 

Here's where we had lunch. I remember it being decent, but astronomically expensive. lol

There always seemed to be something going on in the lagoon. For the record, the Bohemian Rhapsody nighttime show was spectacular! 

And finally, we have the Cool Country area rounding out the park's offerings.

The Eagles: Life in the Fast Lane was a solid off-the-shelf mine train. Not a lot of theme elements, but the station was nice and the layout delivers. The exit gift shop had rattlesnakes!

If I'm not mistaken, this Swing Around-type-ride has already found a good home!

Cool Country probably affords the best views of Hard Rock Park's star attractions. 

And also of this thing. Somehow I'm not surprised that Premier hasn't sold many of these. 

Back to British Invasion! We still need our Maximum RPM credit!

Anticipating capacity issues, Hard Rock Park set up this interesting Karaoke Queue for Maximum RPM. While the ride's operations were sluggish enough for a line to actually form, not many people volunteered to sing for the crowd. 

We waited about 20 minutes for our first ride, which seemed like a long time compared to the non-stop walk-ons we'd had all day. I feel like the ride's serious capacity deficit may deter future buyers.

Having said that, Maximum RPM was an utter delight. I really hope to see it get sold. 

Speaking of being sold, there's rumors afoot that Led Zeppelin may be going to China. 

The park's signature giant guitar was actually perched atop a full-scale Gibson Showcase! They had some pretty bitchin' instruments for sale.

From its location in the middle of the park, you got that sweet-spot view of Led Zeppelin.

And a nice view of Cool Country, ta'boot!

The trailer on the right sold fried chicken. :}

After a few more re-rides on Led Zeppelin and Maximum RPM, the sun set on Hard Rock Park.

The park was quite lovely at night. The Magic Mushroom Ride was actually backlight sensitive!

Goodnight, sweet prince.

Hard Rock Park's demise was a huge loss. This park, though flawed, was really special. Freestyle Music Park's attempt at reviving the establishment the following year saw the destruction of many of the park's charming subtleties, and, more importantly, the reduction of the park's two biggest stars, Led Zeppelin: The Ride and The Moody Blues' Nights In White Satin: The Trip into sad, shallow shells of their former selves. The Trip's transformation into "MonStars of Rock" might just go down in history as the biggest ride-retheme FAIL ever, and while Led Zeppelin will find a new home eventually, never again will it float majestically to the righteously raucous reverberations of "Whole Lotta Love."